Has Anything Ever Actually Happened?
by MentalistSweete
Summary: Warning! This is not a MentalistSweete fic. This is created by unreal305; you can communicate to me through here. His ankle is still in pain, so he relaxes one leg on the bed while he tears away the rest of his clothes. Only not Patrick. More like Consultant Jane. 'We got a case, here's the address… It's near a farm. Want some apples'


A/N: At the moment, this is only a one-shot for how the seventh season should begin. Warning! This is not my fic. It was emailed to me by unreal305. 305's Internet isn't working at the moment. If you like it, favorite it. If you want more, follow unreal305 and review. The disclaimer is all unreal305's. Thank you!

Disclaimer: Wow, do I wish the mentalist was mine? Is Rugrats my favorite cartoon? *That's a BIG yes, by the way.

Teresa slowly wakes up and rolls off the bed. She is wearing her Lisbon jersey and short shorts. She frowns in confusion as she remembers something else entirely.

_Teresa is straddles on Patrick's hips. He is pulling off her top as she unbuttons his pants. He lets her fall on the bed because he is getting restless. His ankle is still in pain, so he relaxes one leg on the bed while he tears away the rest of his clothes. He lovingly attacks Teresa, allowing all his bottled-up adoration flow freely in the bedroom. He scoops her up and savagely kisses her. They tangle themselves up in the sheets and make passionate love._

How did she get dressed? She looks at the bed once she touches the floor. Only her side looks slept in. How is that possible? Teresa waddles to the bathroom. It is spotless. She thinks about something else happening, earlier in the night.

_Teresa is running a bath while she leaves Patrick in the living room, picking out a movie. She adds the bubbles and removes her robe. Teresa accidentally forgets the cap when she sets down the bottle. It knocks over and the liquid surges out. She has one foot in the tub but slips with her other foot. She doesn't think about screaming out but grabs the shower curtain instead. It is a bargain brand and rips along with her falling. She braces for impact but instead finds herself being lifted up. Lifted into the tub. And kissed. Passionately._

Teresa brushes her teeth and returns to the bedroom. She changes into her regular work clothes, hardly fixing her hair. She hobbles into her living room. Also spotless, with nothing out of place. She thinks of even earlier.

_The doctors had instructed Patrick not stay alone. In privacy, Teresa invites her new boyfriend over. He readily accepts with a small twirling hug… as best as he can give. Now, he had brought over Chinese and Italian takeout. He makes a mess out of her living space by attempting to find the movie that 'best expresses their relationship.' Deciding on 'Duplex,' Teresa settles on the couch beside Patrick with the takeout and a tub of strawberry ice cream._

Teresa finds her bag, shoes and cell phone. She has a text message. Hoping it to be Patrick, she flips it open… well, it _is_ from him. Only not Patrick. More like Consultant Jane. 'We got a case, here's the address… It's near a farm. Want some apples?'

She almost throws her phone at the wall but instead sets it in her bag. Tears are streaming down the side of her face. Had she imagined everything? Had it all been a dream? She snags her keys from the front table and storms out the door. She races to her car and jumps in the driver's seat. She isn't sure if she should drive to the scene, since she feels like punching his nose for something he didn't even do.

Teresa buckles her seatbelt and stares out the passenger side window, recalling another memory from even earlier.

_Teresa is driving Patrick back to the airport from the hospital. He is teasing her about her love of the Spice Girls when, appropriately, 'Wannabe' came over the radio speakers. He continuously asks her to sing. At her last declination, Patrick decides to sing the chorus. "If you wanna be my lover, you gotta get with my friends. Make it last forever, 'cause friendship never e-ends!" Laughing, Teresa joins in. "If you wanna be my lover, you have got to give. Taking is too easy, but that's the way it I-is!"_

Tears continue rolling down her face and she sticks her key in the ignition. The car will not start and she slams her head into the steering wheel. She gets another text message. Struggling not to scream, Teresa opens her newest message.

'Car trouble? We can call AAA and don't be so grumpy.'

She dries up her eyes and squints around her yard. Patrick Jane is resting against a tree in the small yard. A tight smirk chews on the edges of her mouth. She opens her door, ready to yell but her seatbelt keeps her in place. She sees Patrick laughing a bit as he moves forward to help her out.

"Might be easier if you…"

"I get it." She grumbles.

"Did I do something wrong?" He asks gently.

"No, yes, no, maybe." She scrambles out. "It's not what you didn't not do, it's what you did didn't!"

"You mean cleaning up your house?" He asks. "Or leaving early so the team doesn't get the wrong idea… which is the right idea, so I don't get that."

He unbuckles her belt. Patrick rests his left hand on the wheel and his right hand on the headrest. Teresa looks into his beautiful, sincere, dilated eyes. She glances at his left hand and notices something missing.

"Where's your…"

"Don't need it anymore." He gives her a slow, passionate kiss. "I have you."

**So, yeah. A bit OC I guess. But wouldn't that make a great opening sequence for the first episode? Reviews please! **


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